By Se Zhang, Zhe Ziang Press Group
Originally published in the Zhe Ziang Weekly Magazine in China, August 15, 2007

Translated by Se Zhang

A female colleague of mine underwent caesarian to give birth to a baby boy a few days ago in Hang Zhou Fu-Bao Hospital. A few friends of ours went to congratulate her on the birth of the new baby. She happily announced to all visitors that she has made an extremely wise decision to request that the baby was delivered a few days early. The difference of being born a few days early has already gained one year in the baby’s elementary education.

You may ask, what does being born just a few days early have to do with the child’s elementary education? My colleague explained her wise decision with great patience. Today, the enrollment age for elementary schools is 6 years old. The cut off date is September 1. Any baby who was born after this date will need to wait until the following September 1 before he can be enrolled in school. Therefore, being born on a day after September 1 may well mean one year too late.

Her original due date was a couple of days after September 1. If all goes according to natural plans, her baby will suffer one year delay in starting school. She simply cannot afford/tolerate such an impediment in this extremely competitive society.
Now everyone realizes some of the unspoken secrets among many young families. On their way home, some of the visiting colleagues sighed: “Should we all live such an irksome life? Is life getting so irritating that you need advanced planning and arrangement for the baby’s future six or seven years later — even before he is born?”

According to doctors in the Fu-Bao Hospital, this case is not uncommon at all. It happens not only in Hang Zhou, but in all other cities in the nation as well.

Parents of new-born babies already wearingly plan 6-7 years ahead now. How about parents of children who are now 6- 7 years old? They are absolutely over-whelmed and struggling with their school-aged kids in many unthinkable ways.
Yeh-Yeh is a newly enrolled first-grade student this year. She wears pony-tails and a blue and white patterned school uniform. Her father takes her to school in a car. She chews gum and seems so happy. She does not even know how her family’s life has greatly transformed to sacrifice for her schooling. Her father, Mr. Shen Ming said:” My family’s situation is not unique at all.”
Mr. Shen Ming started worrying about Yeh-Yeh’s school starting last year, and it has totally preoccupied him this summer. When I learned about what has happened to him these days, I suddenly realized an old Chinese idiom that may well be applicable to the case: “For all pity parents in the world, kids mean everything in their life.”

To accommodate the needs of Yeh-Yeh’s elementary schooling, all the existing family’s orderly and comfortable life must be tailored to and sacrificed for the ultimate goal.

“All arose out of my careless plan in the past, and now I have to swallow and suffer the hard facts,” Shen Ming admitted his guilt with great regret. About the same time last year, the family had taken out a mortgage to purchase a new, 120-square-meter house in the North Town (of Hang Zhou City) out of a desire to provide Yeh-Yeh with a better and comfortable living environment. They also spent another large sum of money to decorate their daughter’s bedroom. It is a beautiful bedroom, pink, with large bay window sitting area. It comes with a thick foam pad, where Yeh-Yeh can lie down and enjoy reading there. The bath room walls are also decorated with a live fish aquarium. They have lived in this new house for less than a year, only to find themselves fall into the embarrassing situation of “house-hunting” again.

Shen Ming cried out: “There is no good elementary school near the new house for my daughter.” “All that they have here are kind of ’peasants’ schools,’ exclaimed Shen Ming. He feels so hopeless, at the prospect of his daughter’s very limited future, if he lets her study here.

“What we all keep saying, is that the children’s school environment is the most important factor for their future. People send their children to study abroad simply to seek a better school environment. I can’t afford to ignore my child’s future, no matter how difficult it makes my own my situation.”

Luckily, he had previously put his daughter’s name in his father’s family registry at the West Town. They are located in a very good elementary school district. With all things considered, Shen Ming decided to move out of the new house, and rented a house in West Town.

The newly decorated house in North Town is now vacant, with a RMB $2,000 monthly mortgage payment. The rental payment in West Town requires another RMB $1,000 per month. They run into a huge deficit every month due to their relatively low combined income. “My wife has three jobs to do, and all are located in North Town. When we lived in the North Town in the past, it was relatively easy to handle. It made our lives more difficult when we moved to West Town. I have to get up at 2 or 3AM in the morning to pick up my wife when she finishes her night shift. Even in such a difficult situation, my wife did not utter a word of complaint. Nothing is more important than our daughter’s education,” Said Shen Ming.

When their relatives or friends learned about what has happened to the family, they simply can’t believe their ears. Shen Ming’s elder relatives started complaining that these young couples are short sighted and careless in their early planning. No matter how harsh or urgent the situations is, nonetheless, not one of the relatives or friends wants to express their true state of the mind: “It all come down to the students themselves — not which school they go to.”

Kindly as any grandfather should be, Shen Ming’s father (Shen Deh) subsequently decided to make a sacrificial move in order to partially solve Shen Ming’s problems. He lets Shen Ming and the family move back to his house and stay together under one roof. This will at least help Shen Ming cut down on the rental expense. Nevertheless, this very kind move has not improved Shen Ming’s family life at all, let alone his father’s circumstances.

On August 20, Shen Deh sold his black desk, which he has used it in his entire life, to a community garbage collector for merely RMB $20. For the sake of vacating one bedroom for Shen Ming’s Family (in a small 2 bedroom, 1 living room house), Shen Deh must quickly dispose of all of his unwanted furniture in the bedroom, at a dirt cheap price, or to donate them to others. The old desk, which has beautiful craftsmanship, carries a lot of his old memories of his hard working days in the past. It also reminds Shen Deh a lot of the old days with his own parents. He had no choice. He eventually sold it under the undue pressure of vacating a bedroom for his son’s family.
More reluctant changes have yet to come. Shen Deh is a painter. He gets used to starting his painting at mid-night, goes to bed at dawn, and gets up at noon. Shen Ming now worries that this lifestyle will affect his daughter’s habits and schedule. For a model student’s schedule, one needs to go to bed at 9 PM and gets up at 7 AM, Shen Ming believes. Under the same roof, the grand-father’s habit of working at mid-night, coupled with a snack time after mid-night, will in no case convince Yeh-Yeh to listen to Shen Ming for the sake of the model student’s habits and schedules.

Shen Ming has repeatedly hinted to his father of the need of changing his old habits and schedules. “It is even more difficult for me to change my work habits than it was to vacate a bedroom for the young family,” exclaimed She Deh helplessly.
Shen Deh is also a collector of antique china. All over his small house- on the dining table, above the cabinets, along the small spaces in the hallway, etc., are bottles, boxes, and vases, etc. The father-son team started packing all antique china, and placed them under the bed. “It will be a disaster if Yeh-Yeh messes up any of these treasures.” Still, they don’t have enough space to store these possessions.
The housing problem seems to be temporarily settled for the time being. Next, they worry about Yeh-Yeh’s meals. “We need someone to prepare a lunch for Yeh-Yeh, and pick her up after school is over.” There is no easy and quick solution for searching for a nanny in a short time. Consequently, Shen Ming’s mother-in-law is a natural quick fix for the problem. She lives in North Town. In order to prepare a meal for Yeh-Yeh everyday, she has to make two transit transfers to come to the West Town.

The entire family’s life has already been turned upside down due to Yeh-Yeh’s schooling problems. In the North Town, they had an over 100-sq.-meter house before they moved into this 14-sq.-meter bedroom. The master bedroom in their house is already cozy enough for two, not to mention that the bedroom given up by his father now has merely 14 sq meters for three people. The bedroom needs to accommodate two beds, one is the floor. “All the arrangements are temporary in order to cope with the special circumstances. We are not here to enjoy life,” Shen Ming tries to comfort himself. On the weekends, the family needs to pack again for a return trip back to their North Town house. They need to come back to Shen Deh’s house again before the weekend finishes. That is our “weekend vacation house for now,” Shen Ming ridicules himself.

More than one of my friends has commented on this social phenomenon. We are simply wasting our energy and resources, and self create the sinner. It all boils down to one simple key word: Is all this hard effort worth it, for children’s elementary studies? I don’t know the right answer. I only know that I would feel guilty if I don’t do like others. If the child is left behind from the elementary beginning education, he/ she will be behind for sure in their junior or senior high schools, not to mention college education or opportunity to study abroad. If so, I will feel very sorry and regretful for the child.

I was amazed and traumatized by Shen Ming’s story. Nowadays, parental sacrifices are blown out of proportion for the cause of children’s studies. Nonetheless, Shen Ming’s story is very typical. A survey performed by the reporter reveals the fact that stories like Shen Ming’s are not at all uncommon in the metro cities of the nation.

Mrs. Fu owns high-end rental properties in the well-to-do district of the West Town. She has to rent an old rental property that was built in the early 80s, for reasons of letting her children to be able study at the much better mid-town elementary school. Mr. Chen voluntarily donated RMB $15,000 to the school in order to avail his child of the opportunity to study in a very famous kindergarten. When his son was ready for the elementary school, he felt so proud and happy to learn that the school was willing to accept his RMB $25,000 donation. That indicates that the school is willing to take his son’s enrollment application. On the other example, when Mrs. Cheng took out a second mortgage on her house in order to purchase another house which is located in a good school district, her mortgage payments became astronomical.

In contrast to the above-described parents, who are “making out after suffering a loss,” many “smarter parents” are “taking precautionary steps before it is too late.” When their babies are still toddlers, these smarter parents are already searching for “second hand” properties that are situated in good school districts. “We find that more and more newly weds are demanding housing in good school districts. Additionally, many more young toddlers’ parents start searching for houses located in good school districts,” explained a manager of a real estate brokerage company.

To counter the over-whelming demand of housing in good school districts, many elementary schools have created new stricter enrollment and enforcement rules and thresholds. They require the new student enrollment must demonstrate a minimum one year of residence in the district. Teachers are conducting house calls at 7-8PM randomly. Or, the school will make phone calls to the students’ neighbors in order to verify the authenticity of the student’s legitimate residency. “They are just like undercover agents,” a nervous parent said.
Moving or buying a new house is only part of the story that encompasses children’s schooling problems. For children’s education, parents’ pressure surmounts far beyond the search for better school districts. All kinds of enrichment programs or short-term cram classes are eroding parents’ time and resources everyday.

Ms. Yu, a local banker, takes her grade-student son to study English every weekend and on weekday afternoons. Under all weather conditions, she kills her time by patiently reading the newspaper or whatnot outside of the classroom patio, while waiting for her son for 2-3 hours. “I am not the most responsible parents in town. Some parents even have to shuttle to more than three different locations for different enrichment programs, such as piano, dance, painting, English, etc,” Says Ms.Yu.

A parent, who advocates total freedom of children’s developmental education, has finally yielded to the tremendous social pressure, and sent his child to a Go training class. “I am afraid of the fact that my child will be in a very disadvantageous position if he doesn’t have any special talent or skill at all. I now feel a bit more comfortable after he started learning Go,” says the parent.

A long time before the summer vacation starts, the mom of HiaoYu keeps reminding him to find out if and when the school will sponsor any English summer camps to the US or Austria. “The pressure is mounting for summer vacation,” explained by Hiao-Yu’ mother. “After summer vacation is over, the teacher will require each student to write about how they spent their summer vacation. There are some kids who have traveled abroad during the summer. These students will feel superior to others who didn’t. Moreover, they seem to be more confident in many ways. I can’t afford to let my kid stay behind them. Putting aside the issue of comparing/ competing with each other, the kids with opportunities to go see the other side of the world are definitely more capable and competent than those who don’t.”
These parents seem to suffer some sort of anxiety syndrome. They believe that life is a series of comparisons and competitions. You can’t afford to lose any one of the series, or you will be eliminated in the competitive games. They don’t have any clear objectives or goals in their life planning. Whatever other people do, they will be compelled to follow up and compete against. The fear of loss in the competition is so overwhelming in their mind. Bit by bit, their children are impacted by the same thoughts in their little minds.
Some say that this anxiety syndrome is a reflection of the impetuosity and restiveness of the society. In the grown-up world, everyone envies an MBA degree from famous business schools; reflecting the fact that all grade students ought to study in good school districts. Likewise, in the grown-up world, the “returned scholars from overseas” carry the most glory and advantages; reflecting another fact that all students strive for the opportunity of studying abroad. Parents of this generation are collectively “brain washed” by the ideology of a so-called “successful life.” Subsequently, even elementary students can make the distinction of one’s life as being “successful” or “not successful.”

What so ironic about the ideology of one’s successful or un-successful life in this society is that it is formulated or clichéd by the society itself. Consequently, it is leading to catastrophically materialistic, in-flexible, and profit-minded life planning. Simply put, what is a so-called successful life is defined and designed, by the very society, in close association with good school districts, famous high schools and colleges, study abroad, and joining the workforce with star mega-size enterprises.

Back in early 1970 through1990, Japan went through a similar anxiety syndrome as we are encountering now. Based on certain surveys and reports, this was also the period that Japanese people suffered the lifestyle with the lowest “Happiness Index.”
Facing a society full of all sorts of challenges, or unlimited opportunities and potentials as we now have in our country, everyone strives so hard to their extremes, leading to total fatigue physically and psychologically. During the process of seeking modernization/ industrialization in this country, without appropriate comparable stress-relieving social systems, mechanisms, and/or amenities, it ought to tip out the psychological imbalance of many people, and causing mental distress in the entire society. Parents undergoing such an anxiety syndrome will eventually pass it onto and impact the developmental health of their children.

“It is about time to seriously assess and re-visit the very problems of our lifestyles and our society as a whole. We should not even need to live such complicated life,” complained a parent to the reporter, who is not willing to spend time and effort to find “good connections” for their children’s school district problems.