Standing at the pulpit, the Rev. John J. Malloy exudes a gentle, caring warmth. Slightly hunched from his 85 years, he peers through pale green eyes and asks in a calm, raspy voice for God to watch over the couple he is joining in matrimony this Sunday morning under the vaulted ceiling of Sts. Peter and Paul Church in San Francisco. When he descends to perform the union, his steps, like his words, are careful and calculated.

“Holy Father, you have created mankind in your own image, and made man and woman to be joined as husband and wife in union of body and heart, and so to fulfill their mission in this world,” the retired Catholic priest says.

Alone, these words are unremarkable. But for those who know the priest’s views, an emphasis is imposed on the words “man and woman.”

“For me it’s a question of good and evil. This is good,” Malloy said earlier. “This is a sacrament. This is God’s will for man, that they marry and have children and people the human race. But that two men get married or two women get married doesn’t serve that purpose.”

In a city that has been the epicenter of gay rights, known for the Castro District, the Folsom Street Fair and for issuing marriage licenses to gay couples, Malloy has been referred to as “the most hated priest in San Francisco.”

His views on gays and gay marriage drew ire during his six-year tenure as pastor and director, said Gibbons Cooney, parish secretary at Sts. Peter and Paul Church who reveres his former boss.

“There’s no priest in San Francisco who’s as outspoken as Father John Malloy,” he said. “Father Malloy wasn’t afraid of opposition.”

The California Legislature recently passed for the second time the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act, which would allow gay people to marry, but Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed the bill Oct. 12.

Through letters to the editor, a Defense of Marriage Rally three years ago, and many sermons, Malloy has held firm to conservative Catholic doctrine on issues from homosexuality to abortion.

“To demand marriage as a matter of equality, to me is very, it’s fallacious. Because what’s the definition of marriage?” he said. “To agree with them you have to change the whole definition. ‘Marriage is just a union of two people that want to have fun.’ Well that’s not our definition of marriage.”

The controversial priest doesn’t like answering personal questions, and when talking about his positions, he often raises his wispy white eyebrows in a matter-of-fact way as if there’s nothing really to discuss.

He was raised in a devout Catholic family in Richmond, with two brothers and five sisters. No particular moment or epiphany sent him into the priesthood, he said. He grew up next to a church and attended Salesian High School, and over the years, responded to his calling.

“God calls you and you say yes or no,” he said.

After studying in California and New Jersey, he traveled to Italy, where he was ordained in 1950 to the Salesian order. He has never had any serious doubts about his decision, but homesickness was a problem when he first went away to study.

“I was a bit of a homebody,” he said. “I just was miserable until I got back.”

Because the Salesian is a teaching order, he spent most of his life in schools, both teaching and as an administrator. In 2001, he came to San Francisco as the director and pastor at Sts. Peter and Paul Church in North Beach, where he stayed until his retirement last June. Now, Malloy has returned to Salesian High to live out his retirement.

In contrast to his calm demeanor, Malloy is known for working long and hard on whatever his task may be, from restoring the church façade to organizing a rally.

“He has that attitude that he’ll rest when he’s dead,” said Dolores Meehan, who worked with Malloy to organize the Defense of Marriage Rally in 2004. “He looks at something and he doesn’t count the cost. If it’s the right thing to do, he’ll go to the wall for you on it.”

People say it is this drive and honesty that draw respect and make most who meet him like him, even if they disagree.

“He was the best of the old-fashioned priests,” said Barbara Simons, director of pre-kindergarten at the church who does not agree with all of Malloy’s positions. “You can respect someone as a person and still disagree with someone.”

That disagreement has come not only from laypeople, but from clergy as well.

“Church teaching itself does affirm love for all people, including homosexuals,” said the Rev. Jim Schexnayder of the National Association of Catholic Diocesan Lesbian and Gay Ministries.

Malloy says he does love and support gay people, but not their lifestyle. However, Schexnayder said Malloy’s positions stereotype and alienate homosexuals.

The repercussions of this anti-gay-rights attitude are felt at other churches in San Francisco, said the Rev. Chris Glaser of the city’s Metropolitan Community Church, to which many gay Christians have turned for guidance.

“Every time there has been a negative statement that’s come out of the Vatican, I’ve dealt with the fallout,” he said.

For Glaser, who is gay, the issue is simple: “We should have the same rights as straight people.”

Despite the controversy his position has created, Malloy said gay marriage is no more important to him than any other moral issue. It is only one part of a larger trend he sees in this country.

“As a student of history you look at the Spartans, look at the Greeks, look at the Romans. How did they fall apart? Most of the time it’s their immorality,” he said. “What’s at stake today in our secularization of society is the family. The family model is being broken up, you know, two moms, two dads, this sort of thing.”

Without the male and the female, he said, something is missing. And while his moral view will not change, he acknowledges that that of American society is shifting.

“There’ll come a time I think when the gay marriage will be probably allowed, but we’ll still be against it,” he said. “And then the excuse is tolerance, tolerance, tolerance. But to what degree is tolerance proper?”

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